I hear the terms ‘being and doing’ in the coaching circle very frequently.

 While I understood the concept, true to myself, I was trying to put together a framework around the same!

 And when I thought more about it, I realized that I need to revisit my preconceived perceptions, and instead of force-fitting this under  the framework of tools and techniques (that I excel in!), I need to take it to the next level and understand this as a framework of underlying principles of the inner self.

The way I understood –

 Doing –

• It is an approach towards visible/ tangible results and goals. It’s related to ‘action’ and execution
• The Tools and techniques that I have learned during my journey as a consultant, mentor, and now coach are a means to get there

Whereas,

 Being –

• It’s about working inside-out in a reflective state
• It’s about self-reflection and evaluate and reevaluate their perspective and then reframing them

 ‘doing’ gives tangible/ quantifiable results and therefore is a feel-good factor within short durations. ‘Being’ is long term and sustained and overall satisfaction or feel-good factor.

 While (I think) I got most of it right, I was somewhere treating ‘being’ and ‘doing’ in silos and felt working on ‘doing’ helps shape the ‘being’ and not the other way around.

So the question was, how do I approach this as a coach?

 As I walked up the coaching path, the past experiences and present coaching training plus the tools and techniques gathered over the period of time led me to work predominantly with clients where their focus was on ‘doing’ and as a coach, my focus was to support them!

 However, it didn’t take me long to figure out that ‘doing’ can meet immediate needs and goals but long-term and sustained growth and results need the coaches and the clients to explore further, deeper!

 To reach there you need to acknowledge and take the path where you lead the client through the process of reframing/ changing perspective by self-reflection and focus on values, thoughts, purpose and therefore bring about self-awareness.

Very often I have heard coaches quoting ” Give a man a fish, feed home for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed for a lifetime.” with respect to the power of coaching.

 With your permission, I’ll take this a little further. If a coach focuses more on the ‘doing’ aspect and not the ‘being’  then in that context you are only taking them half the way i.e. showing them the direction to the lake but still not really teaching them to fish.

 In a coaching conversation, the changes are the client begins or gets in the ‘doing’ state. That’s the state where we mostly try to operate from as it gives us a feeling of security as this state resonates with a sense of action/ doing something/ getting results.

 As a coach, we can get the coachee to be present and reflect on the current state of ‘doing’. We need to help the coachee explore the deeper perspective around ‘being’ by asking questions like “is this act of ‘doing’ serving the ultimate purpose”, asking them to focus and draw clarity on what matters ultimately.

 ‘Being’ is the core of the foundation. You set it in flow and you can build floors and floor of effective ‘doing’ or outcomes on top of it. It’s more like “being while doing” by leveraging your inner drivers.

 When I pondered on it, I questioned myself, Can we use the tools and techniques I have learned over here?

 And the answer is, Yes, we can still leverage the tools and techniques. We just need to tweak our approach in a way that it facilitates reflecting on the inner perspective and reframe them as desired purpose and not just the tactical goals alone.

 This changed thought process has helped widen the coaching canvas further for a deeper and lasting impact for the clients.

After all, it’s human being not human doing!

What do you have to say? Happy to see your thoughts in  the comments.

“This gives me an idea!! instead of our session 11.30 today and tomorrow … do we do a cycling coaching session??? what say? Outdoors… a setting of choice for both of us ”

“Supperrr idea! I’m game! ”

WhatsApp Chat between Arvind and I

Arvind and I started on our coaching journey post successful completion of ‘Leader as a coach’ from TPC Leadership. Idea was to start with some peer coaching sessions and then this thought struck us!

Why not go cycling and conduct our coaching session?

A magnificent setting for thinking and reflection, for someone who cycles passionately and to add to it, the perfect backdrop of monsoon countryside!

As we rode down the country roads coaching and be coached, some practical lessons that we learned outside of a classroom environment –

1. Distractions

Trying to hear each other over the rushing sound of the headwind was not easy. We had to improvise and change the cycling position to hear clearly. 

So is the case when you do not have a ‘present’ setting for a coaching session. If you do not have a proper setting where you can listen undisturbed by the ‘noises’ both internal and external, you lose the advantage of effective coaching.

2. Keeping Pace

With two of us with different riding pace, the ‘coach’ had to match the pace to ensure both of us were in sync. So is the case in a coaching session. The coach has to match the pace of coachee to be in sync.

3. Course Correction

As we left Sohna Road and got onto the country roads, the ‘coach’ felt they have taken a wrong turn. Instead of making an explicit statement about it, the ‘coach’ gently asked the question couple of times at intersections till the ‘coachee’ himself made the course correction.

Isn’t that the case in a coaching session? The coach through powerful questioning enables the coachee to find options and course correct themselves.

4. Bad Patches

There were bad patches on the road where we had  to mutually decide to break pace, cross the patch, and reconvene. So is the case in a coaching session where you feel if the flow is changing, we spot contract, change course, and reconvene on the new path.

5. Reward

After a long and successful ride back, we both always take time to relax and rewards ourselves. That is where I was introduced to Bira white (beer!) for the first time. I guess I don’t have to explain a reward anymore after this apt example!

The same is in the case of a coaching session. Isn’t it? Once coachee gets to the point of firming up their action plans with respect to their goals, its good to reinforce their commitment by making them visualize the rewards, the feel-good factor, once they achieve their goals.

Conclusion

Looking at these analogies, I feel safe to say that coaching is about a logical flow of events that a coachee walks through, exploiting his or her own potential to find answers with the coach been a catalyst, asking all the right questions!

To quote our Mentor Coach, Pooja – “it’s not rocket science”

Until next…Keep listening… Keep asking!C